well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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