that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize