he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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