do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
