Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
