she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
