areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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