it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
