ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
