ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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