looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
