you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
