man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
