k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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