I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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