i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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