you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
