based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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