I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
