Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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