never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
