i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
