My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
