It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
