There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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