normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
