so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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