we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
