great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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