I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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