We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
