Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
