based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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