my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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