What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
