i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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