If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
how drunk are you?
Several
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
