So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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