where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
