I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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