Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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