I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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