dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
