Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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