just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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