She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
