Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
