I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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