after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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