THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
