Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
