We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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