i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
